Creationism and Intelligent Design vs the Theory of Evolution

Monkeys vs Jesus

Years ago there was a brilliant April Fool’s Day editorial in Scientific American — they had 'wisely' decided to stop one-sidedly endorsing the theory of evolution, and will be henceforth giving Creationism and Intelligent Design the attention it so deeply deserves.

I’ve been meaning to address this subject at length; I feel like the seeping of Creationist toilet paper into public education and public policy discussions is a symptom of a much larger phenomenon, one that shows an alarming shift from an evidence-based society to one that is more faith-based and vulnerable to fascistic influences.

I keep trying to write more about it, I really do... but the subject makes me so fecking angry that I inevitably end up clutching my hair, shrieking, and then blacking out — only to wake up hours later, shaken, drenched in blood, with an inexplicable ringing sound in my head.

Do we really have the best schools and education in the world?

Do we really have the best schools and education in the world? A friend of mine who's a teacher in a NJ public school says he's being told to teach less, not more, and that kids are leaving his school dumber than a bag of hammers, but they definitely know what kinds of clothes and shit to buy.

Do we really need a fucking constitutional amendment to cement the religious right's definition of marriage, so as to loudly and clearly deliver the administration's message of FUCK YOU to the gay citizens of this country? Does the idea of gay marriage really threaten the sanctity of straight marriage?

Does a kid who gets caught selling a dime bag really deserve more hard prison time than a bastard who commits multimillion dollar fraud?

Should any self-respecting educator still be practicing the laughable farce known as abstinence-only sex education (funny concept, that), in the hopes that it will prevent even a single pair of teenagers from having non-Jesus approved sex? Is pretending that teenagers will, under the instruction of their teachers, essentially promise to weld their genitals shut how we will prevent teenage pregnancy and new cases of AIDS while encouraging healthy, honest relationships?

Tell Kids the Truth

I don't know if this is true of other cultures, but we Americans have this thing about totally lying to ourselves. Whatever the issue is, you name it, we're willing to bullshit ourselves about it. We find a way of publicly endorsing one position -- the right position, the one that sounds good for the kids -- while secretly (or not so secretly) living the complete opposite way, the way we really want to live.

You can walk out your front door and spit, and you're likely to hit something that we're lying to ourselves about.

Homosexuality. Illegal drugs. Prostitution. Education. Talking about other countries as police states, when we imprison an increasingly huge percentage of our own population for increasingly petty offenses, and local police are used to break up legitimate protests. Waging wars on abstract concepts, like Evil and Terror. Spreading democracy through bombing. Preaching democracy to other countries, when dissent and protest are stifled and ridiculed at home. I mean jesus, ostriches look at us and are like man, those motherfuckers are in denial.

This shit drives me insane. Why is it so hard for us to be honest with ourselves and our kids? Is this the difference between common sense, and the sense God gave ya?